Al Gore
Al "Albert" Gore was created in 1986 when the internet was invented. He is a byproduct of all the toxic chemicals that the tubes of the internet create. Although he appears to be a human, he is really more of a sophisticated furbee that breathes fire(see above) and pretends to care about global warming. The first 8 years of his life he was housed in a shrub outside the White House. He used this time to become a master of the political arts and learn to play the fife.
After mastering the Fife he decided to become the master of the internet. It was a long and difficult journey but eventually he was succesful and became the end boss. As the end boss he was able to harness the full power of the interent and invent global warming so that everyone will be distracted on July 18th, 2011. This is the date when he plans to capture all of the penguins in the world and use them in his great sexual fantasy. Al Gore if fucked. Join us next week for more cutting edge reporting. 
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